I went and saw Garden State tonight, which was an excellent film that you should definitely get out and see if you haven't already. One of the things in the film really spoke to me, a conversation on the concept of "home". I was sitting in the cinema and it struck me that I don't have anywhere to call home, nowhere that fits what I would deem to be a home, wether a particular house or a general locality. Where I live now could be considered home, but it's not. It's simply the place that I keep my things in, the place that I rest in, and the place that I eat and wash in. Any homely characteristics of this house could easily be transplanted to any generic house or apartment anywhere in the world. Before here I was staying temporarily at a friend's house out in the 'burbs. That was short term and the entire duration of the stay felt like an extended sleepover, except with all my shit crammed in their garage. Before that I was living down at the beach with my best mate and girlfriend of the time. That was alright, and the apartment felt more like a home than any other place I've had in Sydney to date. Again, any homely characteristics could've been easily transplanted to any other house or apartment. Before that I live with my girlfriend in an apartment attached to a house at another beach just down the coast a bit. The place was dated and everything had been tacked onto the house bit by bit over many years and the place just didn't sit right with me. As much as I love Sydney and all the amazing things it has to offer, I can't help but feel a little displaced here, and although I'm probably going to spend most of the rest of my life here I just don't see myself calling it home. Going back six years or so... life in Darwin. I guess it's the closest thing I have to home. My family is up there, the houses I grew up in are there, the schools I went to are up there. Seventy five percent of my life is up there. The problem with calling any place in Darwin home is that we moved around so much that I never really felt settled anywhere. Along with that I never really fit into the culture or lifestyle of Darwin. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to leave Darwin and live in a big city where there's always something going on. So now I'm sitting here thinking it all through and I don't think I'll be able to call anywhere home until I've established myself and settled down someehre. I have no idea where that's going to be but each and ever day I feel more and more like moving overseas to live. The most likely choices would be the United Kingdom, Europe, Japan, or North America. I'd love to live in South East Asia or South America for a while, but that'd only be for six months or a year (unless of course I'm seduced by the change of pace and decide to settle there). I dunno, maybe the concept of home is portable. They say home is where the heart is, but my heart doesn't belong to any place. I guess for now I'll just consider home to be wherever my mother is living.